Today I realized that exercising needs to be a lifestyle choice. I avoid avoid avoid consistency and then expect to see the results I see after working our hard for two weeks straight. It's annoying and frustrating. I am struggling with this lifestyle because of a few specific reasons:
1. It's boring. Working out and making the workouts count means coming home, eating an early healthy dinner and going to sleep. Early. This formula completely contradicts my current lifestyle. I am social. I enjoy making the most of my evenings. I am a night owl. I know this needs to change, but right now it seems like an unbeatable challenge.
2. One must plan. I do not like packing in general for trips. I always end up forgetting something, or buying a completely new three-day wardrobe wherever I land. I mean top to bottom, baseball cap to skivvies. The idea of packing a GYM BAG with socks, underwear, workout clothes, toiletries, an iPod - it's all just too much for me to process. I know this would help me go from gym to work to gym to home, but this is the same reason I do not do well with an eating plan. I know, "Fail to Plan. Plan to Fail." I have made a living being very successful by flying by the seat of my pants. I know no other way.
3. Loneliness. To attempt to become any kind of athletic competitor, one must spend a lot of time with one's self. That does not scare me; I am not afraid to know who I am. What does bug me, though, is that I get really lonely when I am not with people. I have never been good alone. I hated living alone. I hate driving alone. I just enjoy the company of another person. And I am completely exhausted of asking, trying and begging to get my best friends to join me at the gym or on the road. They don't. They won't. I can only talk to my myself for so long.
I sound whiny, and I would wholeheartedly own my whine if I was NOT working out. But I am. I work out. Hard. I continue to forge ahead. These are legitimate for roadblocks for me. I'm not an ignorant brat; I know these may not be the kind of roadblocks others face - I accept that - but they are mine. And I own them.
I make it a rule in my life to only do things at which I excel. Exercising takes work, and while I am making progress, I am not the best at it. That really bugs me.
I know what exactly what steps I need to take to be very successful at this, yet I do not take them. I feel if I do take the steps and make these small, yet affecting changes to my lifestyle, I'll either be successful beyond my expectations or be completely miserable and quit altogether. I can't trick myself into thinking the positive will overcome the negative. At this point, both options are very real to me. I don't need motivation. I need a guarantee. I don't fail. I've had enough failure in my life to know better. I make it a point NOT to fail anymore. I think this is what scares me most. This might be the biggest step of faith I take.
3 comments:
This is so real. Everyone knows the benefits of working out, but these are drawbacks that no one talks about.
It is a sacrifice. It's a sacrifice for the people who love you -- because time you used to spend with them is now being spent with. . you.
It's really, really hard.
And it's really really worth it.
Why don't you invest in an elliptical machine for the house, Omar? That way you could watch ATM or whatever suits your fancy while you're working out in your home. You don't have to pack a gym bag. Robert may be home. Or your not lonely when Ms. Banks is on the TV!
I love that you're writing again. You've been one of my writing role models for years.
On the exercise front, why not figure out how to embrace your natural tendencies instead of trying to fight them? There's no rule that says exercise has to be in a lonely gym in the morning for it to count.
What about classes? I absolutely love mine, though I'd probably never recognize anyone in their regular clothes.
And what about testing different times of the day (lunch, afternoon, evening)? Being a guy gives you a total advantage: quick shower and change and you're on to the next part of your day.
Think of it like a puzzle. You don't solve it all at once, but you keep playing with the pieces until they fit just right.
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