Water.

When I quit caffeine three weeks ago, I knew drinking anything interesting would be a challenge. My long days had been filled with tasty Diet Dr. Peppers and Texas iced teas.  What would I drink?  Water?  That’s boring.

And it is.

I started drinking water and only water on that day.  I could have made the choice to drink demi-water, like lame Crystal Light and such, but I decided to go cold turkey.  It was not hard, but it was boring.  Water has no flavor.  Water contains no fun bubbles.  And the only water I like is Fiji water, which costs about $10 a liter – seriously silica?

But then something very interesting started to happen.  The bloat completely disappeared.  The bloat in my midsection, that always seemed to make my dress shirts shorter then that they should have been, evaporated.  Then another thing happened: I grew a neck.  All of a sudden my neck was independent of my jaw line. That’s something new for me.

Then more strange things started to happen.  For instance, my bladder expanded to the size of one that belongs in a horse.  I can sing the alphabet now when I am at the urinal, as well as Britney’s “Womanizer” and Cher’s “Believe.”  It’s pretty crazy.  I also started CRAVING water.  I drink it all the time.  All day long.  And nothing else.  Then my sista friend Philip turned me on to the Brita water bottle and it was ON! I fill this up about ten times during my day.  The water tastes clean – much better then than what gushes from the fountain.

I complained that the lack of caffeine did not do anything to improve my body, my urinary system or my overall general mood.  I am still cranky.  I believe I always will be.  But what DID enhance, improve and boost all of the above is the WATER!  I love it.  And now I feel like my body is flushing toxins like crazy.  I lost seven pounds right away – like in ten days.  Really.  And it has stayed off.  I have allowed myself caffeine if I really need it, for an early morning meeting or a speaking engagement, but so far I’ve been good without it.

I prefer cool water to room temperature water.  I have become a water bottle recycling snob = I like to drink from reusable containers.  I do not like to stir in flavor packets.  Water is not the easiest thing to order a restaurant – servers usually roll their eyes.  It happens.  Believe it.

Still, I am happily surprised how the water makes me feel. I am happy and energized, not sluggish and tired.

The best thing about water? It’s LOVELY with bourbon.